Friday, August 7, 2009
Doubt & Affirmation
I don't think I would have quit, but in a moment Wednesday I wondered if I would ever learn the language well enough. Everyone says that it is particularly difficult, and everyone agrees that immersion combined with learning formal grammar is the way to go. But I want to be discussing philosophy, poverty reduction, and sustainability. I know, I may be setting the bar too high. The language schools say nine to twelve months for "a reasonable level of fluency", so I may be rushing it a bit. It has been two months since I have had a less than measured conversation. But back to that moment of complete doubt where I found myself this week. The idea startled me. What I don't want to forget is that the very next day I was stringing words into sentences and speaking; as if to disprove the notion that maybe I couldn't accomplish my goal. The space of doubt allowed for a renewal of my affirmation.
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Long ago and far away, my college roommate was struggling with her Japanese language studies. It was her parents' and grandparents' native tongue, but Japanese had not been spoken in their homes since her birth (1946). Annie was a brilliant student, but she truly despaired of ever becoming fluent in Japanese. Ann was about to drop the course when I told her she mustn't... I'd heard her speaking in Japanese the night before, in her sleep! She kept on studying, became fluent in three languages, and ultimately became a college president. Ann now works as a private consultant for cross-cultural projects with the U.S. government. Hang in there, and God bless you, Michael!
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